My Biggest Frustration

Well, I should say my *current* biggest frustration lol  I have a few that take turns being the biggest. But lately it seems that I write and write and write and end up not using all my once-seemingly-so-brilliant ideas. It's kinda like taking one step forward and three steps back. I don't know, maybe it's just because I'm so critical of my work and it doesn't sound as good the second time. This is why I should have other people read my work, right?  Right. But I don't. Why? Good question... I guess I kinda have a hard time finding people who fit my criteria. People who: have time, understand my goal with this book, can offer constructive criticism (instead of being too nice or too mean lol)... well those are the main things. I daresay the second one is harder to fill IMO because I seem to be bad at communicating that exactly. Sometimes I even wonder if I understand what my goal is. Why am I a writer again? :P  j/k  I will survive! *breathes deep*  Admittedly, I haven't looked to far for someone to help me. I guess I just haven't thought of it enough and I don't like to bother people. So I guess if you're reading this and feel qualified to help out, LMK ;) 

In the mean time, my OTHER current biggest frustration is that I have two very good multi-paragraph sections (which I actually happen to like) which go together but not quite and I'm trying to figure out how to splice them. This is what happens when I don't write in a continuum... patchwork writing may be easier initially but in the end it's much harder. I can't tell you how big an urge I have to get out my completely blank notebook (it's college-ruled! yay!) and basically start over, but seeing as how I've done that twice already I'm thinking it's not such a good idea although it just MIGHT be easier to organize my content. Aaahhhh don't let me convince myself! I just have to get my brain back on track and make this crazy thing work. Then I can let someone rip it apart and I can glue it back together and it will be perfect. :)  ok sorry I'm rambling rather aimlessly at this point.

Now that I've spilled my irritation I can go write. Right? Right. Ok...